Thursday, October 28, 2010

October 18th

October 18th was my 2nd wedding anniversary. We have been together now for 12 years. My husband planned a nice evening for us and spoiled me just a little. Our anniversary to me will always be a tad bittersweet. Its a little known fact that Janessa was our wedding night baby. So each year on our anniversary marks the start of another year of anniversaries without her. I cannot separate the two. It was our love that brought her into existence and it will be our love that keeps her memory alive.

Before we headed off on our evening we had a growth scan and a separate doctor visit. I was excited we were able to get a glimpse of our little boy on our special day. That was the first time he actually stayed still! He usually flips & rolls around so much its hard for them to get any measurements. I was glad he cooperated but since he was so comfy we weren't able to get any good shots of him. He was practically laying face down on my bladder and using it as his pillow! We poked & prodded him & he would squirm and kick back but he was NOT budging from his comfy little position. Basically the way I act when my husband tries to wake me from the couch. He must have my stubbornness.

Here he is face down relaxing:

Here is another shot of him grabbing his foot. He seems to like doing this!

That day based on my LMP I was 27 weeks 1 day. I must be eating well because he was measuring 28 weeks 6 days! His weight was measured at 2 lbs 11 oz. He is in the 77% for growth. Janessa who was born at 31.5 weeks was 2 lbs 14 oz which was considered a healthy weight at her stage. I think this little one may be a chunky monkey. His heart rate was 143 bpm. They recorded good fetal movement and tone. All measurements were normal.

We then headed over to the doctor appointment which was uneventful. I have gained more weight than I would have liked to see and am now at my heaviest ever. That day on my home scale, where I have been tracking my weight gain, I weighed what I did the day I delivered Janessa. Seeing that weight on my scale made me nervous. Weight has an enormous effect on blood pressure and knowing that was what I weighed when my blood pressure shot up with her made me very uneasy. I still have 10-12 weeks left of weight gain and I am worried as to how my body will handle it.

During my appointment a lady had come in to inquire if I would like to take part in a post partum depression study. I accepted. I filled out about 10 questions and she looked them over. I feel that I am at an increased risk for post partum depression. I can only imagine the rush of emotions I will experience after the birth of another baby...a live baby. It will bring immense joy but it will stir up feelings of our grief and loss and it scares me. Not one single question on that questionnaire referenced any type of prior pregnancy loss. She tallied up my score & I rated a 7. I would of needed to "score" a 10 in order to be considered at risk. Really? Now don't get me wrong I am not wishing this or wanting this but seriously? How accurate is that study going to be? In my opinion unless they address all aspects of post partum they are wasting their time, energy and money.

We left the hospital feeling pretty good about this little munchkin and my husband brought me out for dinner at the cheesecake factory. I had never been & he remembered I wanted to go so we took the drive out. He gave me his gift and wrote me something incredibly special. It was nice to have some alone time. We both shared dessert and I still think about how good that cheesecake was!

Happy two year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband. I would not have made it through the last 17 months without you by my side. I love you.


Holly said...

Happy Anniversary to you both! Having a loss def puts women at risk no matter what IMO.

That cheesecake looks good. They have the best cheesecake there!

Lisette said...

So happy that your baby boy is doing so well and growing. He is going to be a big boy.

I love the Cheesecake Factory, glad you both had a lovely evening together. I know it was bittersweet but I would like to think it was more on sweet side this year.

Jen said...

Happy Anniversary to you! I am so glad sweet boy is doing so well<3 and you look absolutely gorgous by the way!

Mary said...

Happy belated anniversary. It sounds like you had a good day. May you have many more.

You look amazing by the way.

Yvonne said...

Happy anniversary!

Anonymous said...

cheesecake factory!! We went there for Jonathan's one year birthday. One in MA actually. Glad to hear all is well :)

Check out my Etsy Shop!