During my few weeks of silence here we had quite a scare. In fact I didn’t tell hardly anyone about it in “real life” either. I had basically shut down emotionally regarding my grief & the new pregnancy and sort of just went on about my days as if everything was ok.
A few weeks back when I was 19 weeks, I was sitting at the computer and I had a sudden feeling of leaking fluid. It passed what I thought was any where near a normal limit for being pregnant so I called the doctor’s office. I could tell by the nurses reaction that I would be going in. She said she would call me right back after she spoke with the doctor. I got ready & called my husband. When she called back she said the doctor wanted me to go to Labor and Delivery Triage to be checked for PROM (Pre rupture of membranes).
I stayed somewhat calm because I thought if my water had truly broken it would have been a larger amount & more steady. What I was truly worried about is that I may be leaking amniotic fluid.
We arrived & were registered and admitted. This little guy did give me some peace of mind by moving every so often to let me know he was alright.
Eerily as we walked into the room that I was assigned there were sounds of a jack hammer. Anyone who visited us in the hospital after Janessa passed would remember the obnoxious & unbelievably loud jack hammering that was going on directly under my room. It was horrible. I ended up getting a migraine that lasted for a couple days from it. Hearing that noise in another hospital room while in the middle of a pregnancy scare was unsettling to say the least.
They did some tests to see if I was indeed leaking any fluid, they checked for infection & did an ultrasound to check the fluid around the baby. Everything was good. My blood pressure was running a bit high at 140/80s which seems to be the reading I get while at the docs. I was discharged and given warning signs of pre term labor.
I had an appointment about a week later on Tuesday 8/31. There we discussed the progesterone shots once again & came to the conclusion that my history does not really make me a candidate. I told her I would be willing to have them if there was no harm but she wasn’t convinced I would benefit from them. My blood pressure was about 140 again so she decided to double my dose of blood pressure meds. This is something I knew was coming. I have hit the 20 week mark (22 wks 3 days today) so I am now at risk for pre eclampsia. I am glad she increased my dosage & I would have requested the increase had she not done so first.
I had a follow up blood pressure check with the nurse the next week (last Wed 9/8.) to see where I was at. I made the mistake of running late, getting myself all worried & driving on the highway myself to the appointment. I went in & the reading was around 128/92 the first time. I normally do not have a problem with the bottom number, the diastolic reading. She went on with the visit and took it one more time before letting me leave. The bottom number had dropped to if I remember correctly 86. Not terribly great but not extremely high. She asked if I was already on bed rest. I told her no…she told me not yet. She then went on to tell me what symptoms to call in for which were signs of pre e…headache, change in vision & swelling. The nurse at L&D triage had asked if I had a plan in place for bed rest as well. We now do & are preparing for that possibility.
The only relief I get is that whenever I take my blood pressure at the stores or on my home cup the reading is always low & normal. I will continue to self monitor as I believe I must be active in my own care.
I have been suffering from increasing anxiety & nightmares now that this spot in the pregnancy has arrived. I have dreams of every scenario mixed with subtle flashbacks of what happened with Janessa. I am trying hard to work through it but know that there is no cure for these feelings..no way to make them stop…this is my reality.
On a brighter note my husband felt the baby kick about a week ago. He kicked him right on the hand! His face was priceless.
Tomorrow I have another visit with the doctor & the following week starts the regular ultrasounds we will be getting due to my hypertensive disorder. Looking forward to getting another peek at this little kick boxer…maybe seeing his face again will help us find a name!