Just as I have for the past four-and-a-half years.
Each day I am met with an option.
Defeat or perseverance.
Each day the choice has become easier.
I’ve had to relearn how to be happy.
And each day I consciously choose joy.
I embrace healing.
I possess courage.
Her gift to me.
My life keeps going.
Yet, with her.
In the only way possible.
In passing thoughts.
In my heart.
She is weaved through my soul.
She may have died.
But her mother’s love did not.
It is abundant and enduring.
It sustains me with enough love to love this life.
This broken, non-perfect, yet still sweet life.
And because she lives within me.
I choose life.
For both of us.
My hope for you, for my fellow loss sisters who are fresh in their anguish and for my sisters who are still in the darkness of their grief, is that one day, you too will find the light. The light that illuminates the path to joy. The light I never thought I would see again. But I did. Because this community held me up until I could stand, then held my hand until I could walk, then kept their arms outstretched when I gained the courage to run towards the light, toward joy, toward my future. I fell back into their arms a few times, and I know I will again in future days. That is the beautiful thing about this, about my sisterhood here, is that the acknowledgement, love, support, and encouragement, supplies me with the strength I need when I run out. And because of that, this sacred community will always hold a piece of my reconstructed heart. So pull strength from my words. Find hope, encouragement, & possibilities of brighter days. Find the love that was released through my fingertips and has been woven through my message to you. I wish for you comfort, healing, peace, and joy once more.