Sunday, March 27, 2011

3 Month Update

Today JD is 3 months old. Tomorrow he will be 13 weeks.

I would really like to know how 3 months have passed us by!?

JD has changed so much. We have not had a doctor visit so I am unsure what his weight is but I do know he is one chunky monkey! He has outgrown all the 0-3 month clothes. He is wearing 6 month onsies & 3-6 month pants.

He outgrew his bassinet about a week ago. He will be moving into his crib sometime in the very near future. It makes me so sad to think I will never have a baby to sleep in that bassinet again. I am content with our decision to not have any more children but I cannot help but feel sad that he will be our last.

He is still drinking 5-6 oz every 3 hrs during the day. In total he drinks about 25-30 oz a day. I broke down and added the cereal as directed by the doctor to help with his reflux. It seems to help a little. I am not convinced it is doing much. I wish he had a 3 month check up in between. I may call her and go in to see if we can do something else.

He really is such a happy baby. He is pretty mellow all the time. If it wasn't for his reflux issues I don't think he would ever fuss. He defnitely likes to be held still. Some days I do not accomplish too much due to him wanting to be held quite a bit. I think it could be due to the reflux.

While feeding him JD stares straight into my eyes. He looks at me with these knowing eyes. It feels like he looks right into my soul. Just writing about it now made tears form in my eyes. I feel such immense love in those moments. Not just my love for him but it seems as though he is channeling some to me through those beautiful blue eyes.

He has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks old. After his last bottle for the day he likes to suck on his binky and falls right to sleep. Like clock work each night JD is asleep by 9:00 pm. He sleeps until about 6 or 7 am. He usually drinks his morning bottle and then goes back to sleep for an hour or two. When he wakes up for that first bottle he is all smiles. He seems to be the happiest at that time. If I had to guess it may be because after that many hours there is nothing left in his stomach to reflux back up into his throat. I think he probably feels the best during that time.

During the times he is fussy we can always count on the changing table to stop his fussing. Its the strangest thing. He could be whining & crying and the minute you lay him down on that table he relaxes. Not just his fussing but even his breathing becomes more slow & mellow.

Also when he is feeling uncomfortable or fussy he likes you to stand while holding him. If you try & sit down he will squirm & whine until you stand. He definitely knows what he likes. Definitely some of momma in him!

I am NOT looking forward to his 4 month doc visit and shots. He was so fussy for two days after his 2 month shots. It was awful. They never affected JJ at all so it took me sometime to connect the shots to his fussiness. I hope he doesn't react the same next time. Poor little guy.

He makes this sad little "boo-boo" lip when he is about to cry and it just melts me. How cute and sad is this?

JD does not really nap for me during the day. I have to say that he does nap sooo much better for his daddy! My husband seems to posess some magic nap powers. Its that or JD knows when its the weekend and uses it to catch up on some zzzzs!

I found some patches of what seems like eczema on JD. I was prepared for this as JJ has had pretty bad eczema since he was a baby as well. I was hoping JD could avoid it. I am still hoping that he will avoid asthma though.

His head control is pretty good. He loves to look around at his surroundings. He is now enjoying his toys much more & has a few he tends to stare at more than others. He also likes to bat at them & I could watch him play forever. He seems to use his right hand to swing at the hanging toys the most. At first I thought it may be random reflex movements but it seems he really is batting at them!

JD used to enjoy baths but doesn't seem to really care for them anymore. He also likes to go #2 in the tub after a few minutes of being soaked in the nice warm water. He has done this to me about 4 times! I am going to start only giving him baths on days he has already gone! It is not fun to clean up but I cannot help but laugh.

JD is losing the hair on the back of his head from sleeping on his back. You can find all his lost hair on his bassinet sheet. I remeber JJ had a big bald spot as well. I too am losing my luscious locks of hair I gained while pregnant. My hair usually starts to fall out about 4 months postpartum but this time it started around 2 1/2 months. I have very thin straight hair so I enjoyed having nice thick hair while pregnant. I am sad to see it go.

JJ talks a lot about things he cannot wait to do when JD is a "kid". He talks about games they will play and things he will teach him. He has even mentioned the naughty things he plans on showing JD as well. One of his lovely lessons will be teaching him how to make his arm pit fart. Ahh the joy of mothering little boys :)

We had a tease of spring about a week ago here. It was so beautiful for two days. I put JD in the bjorn carrier and walked around the block. JJ happend to have the day off from school so he was able to come as well. JD loved it. He was so calm & was just taking in his surroundings. He was not a big fan of the breeze taking his breath away but he seemed to enjoy the warm sunshine on his face.

I am really enjoying JD. I feel so blessed and lucky to have him here.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Her Protectors

As JJ and I pulled into the cemetery today...

"Mom, do you think God takes care of Janessa?", asked JJ.

"Yes I do." I replied.

"He better...He better." said JJ.

Sometimes he leaves me speechless.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Meant For Her

It amazes me at how much emotion can be evoked by an object.

When I was pregnant with Janessa, I was blessed by the generosity of others and ended up with a large supply a baby girl clothes. So many that I only purchased a handful of outfits for her myself. Shopping for little girls is so much fun.

Clothes I bought for Janessa
While sorting through her items in preparation for JD's arrival, I packaged up and kept all the clothes pictured above. I cannot part with them. They are with Janessa's items. I have since gone through the rest that were given to me. I made a HUGE decision a few weeks back and decided to send a large amount to a dear friend of mine who was expecting her rainbow...actually 2 rainbows! The rest are divided up by size ready for a different friend who just had her rainbow as well. I never thought I could get rid of them. So many emotions were attached to them. They symbolized so much. Giving them to other rainbow babies was the only thing that made it feel ok.

Included in those that I purchased for Janessa was this outfit...

I was shopping with my mom when I came across it. I thought it was slightly boyish but I loved the cute design! I read it and I just had to buy it for her. It was so adorable & I was excited about purchasing it. I don't really get that excited over clothing but for some reason this made me. I remember having my husband read the cute little sayings when I got home. 

Here is what it says...

How cute is that?

I decided not to store this one with the rest of Janessa's items. I instead put aside for JD. I remember the feeling of removing the tags to wash it with the rest of JD's clothes. A feeling I am not sure I can find the words for. I guess it was sadness mixed in with the hope that the baby wrapped up in my belly WOULD have the chance to wear it, also knowing that this is the closest to sharing something with his older sister that would be possible.

I put all the pj's in drawers and all the "going out" clothes were hung up in his closet. Even though this was a sleeper outfit I hung it up instead. I wasn't sure when I would be ready to put it on him...if ever. He went through all the other ones in that size probably two or three times before I decided to dress him in it. I layed it out on his changing table and then gave him a bath.

I remember dressing him in it and having a flood of thoughts run through my mind. I thought back to purchasing it...imagined someone telling me that the baby I was buying it for would never be able to wear it...I thought how I never had the chance to dress Janessa, a regret that haunts me... I thought about how very grateful I was that JD made it here safe and sound...and then I wiped my tears, looked down and saw him staring up at me...and I smiled.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Two Months

Sunday JD turned 2 months and Monday he turned 9 weeks old.

Yesterday at his appointment he weighed in at 11 lbs 12 oz!

JD has more alert times now but still sleeps most of the day in small spurts. He is smiling a lot more and we can now talk to him to get him to smile. He has started cooing a lot in the past couple days. I love to listen to him.

He is also noticing things & is studying them more intently. The hanging toys on all his baby paraphenilia are getting some use.

He is eating 5-6 oz every 2.5-3 hours during the day. He has recently started giving us a 5 hour stretch from around 11pm-4am each night. Saturday he slept until 5 am which was a treat.

JD loves to be held. Some days it seems I hold him all day. He likes to be rocked and gently bounced. He loves to sleep on us on his belly. If we could do this at night I think he would sleep the whole night through.

He has already changed so much.

He likes to clutch his hair on the back of his head while sleeping.

The problem is sometimes he grasps so hard he pulls it and cries. He doesn't realize what he is doing is hurting himself! I have to pry his little fingers off his hair. He likes to grab mine as well when he over my shoulder. I am pretty sure I now have less hair on the left side of my head than the right! He has defnitely reduced the amount of hair on the back of his head:

Last Thursday JD had an ultrasound for his hips. The pediatrician who was on duty at the hospital when he was born noticed that he had hip-clicks. We followed up that finding with JD's pediatrician and she felt a slight one in his left hip. His hip joints were very lax so she ordered the ultrasound to check if his joints had formed correctly and also for Hip Dysplasia. Thankfully everything checked out great. His hips are perfect and they do not come out of the joint when pushed on or moved. What a releif!

Unfortunately JD is suffering from silent reflux. Most of the time when layed on his back he is very restless. He will only sleep well if he is inclined. Here he is sleeping in his bouncy seat:

February 6th, 2011
He rarely sleeps sound. He grunts & pants alot in his sleep and does so most of the time he is awake as well. He does not spit up a lot but does so a little while burping and also if he has been on his back for a diaper change etc. He is almost always restless. Sometimes he gets this look on his face like he is in pain or is tasting something bad. He often arches his back which can be a symptom as well. Silent reflux is when the baby spits up but swallows it instead of expelling it. The result is their throats can be burned by the stomach acid. Two weeks ago his doc recommended I add a few teaspoons of cereal to his formula. She explained that it would be the more conservative treatment for reflux vs. medication (such as a baby does of zantac). By thickening the milk it helps keep it in the stomach. I bought the cereal but have yet to do it. I have always read how NOT to put cereal in the bottle and that it is a choking hazard. The risk is if they choke they could aspirate some of the formula and/or cereal into their lungs. That is a risk I am not sure I would like to take. JD already frequently gags on his formula while feeding. He seems to lose his rhythm. Feeding cereal too early can also result in an increase of food allergies since their stomachs are not ready for food quite yet. It can also cause weight issues due to the extra calories they do not need quite yet. At yesterday's appointment I told her I had yet to do the cereal due to these concerns. I could tell she does not agree with the medication. She said to start with one teaspoon and increase from there to see how he does. *sigh* I really do not know what to do. Have any of you dealt with this?

At the appointment JD got his 2 month shots. One in each leg & the rotavirus drink. JJ held his hand. Today he has a slight fever and is wanting some extra cuddle time. JD also rolled over from his belly to his back for the first time, twice, on the table in the office yesterday!

JJ is loving having a little brother. He has waited so long for this.

JD got a little fussy after lying down there for a little while so I picked him up. JJ said "Hey! I like him!". I laughed so hard.

JJ talks about Janessa a lot lately. When he does his eyes gloss over with tears. The other day he told me he cried because she was not here. I changed out one of her pics in a frame with a better quality one and he took the old one and hung it up in his room next to his picture of JD. He amazes me with his love for his sister whom he never met. A regret that eats at me each and every day. In my perfect life she would be here to be a little sister to JJ and a big sister to JD. Its hard to beleive she would be 21 months now.

These months are flying by.

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