It was overwhelming to see how many babies & children are remembered there.
This Angel of Hope statue is 1 of 73 in the world. You can read the full story of it HERE. It is worth the read.
Every December 6th they hold a candle light vigil. They have music, prayer & readings & a moment of silence. Each parent is then allowed to place a flower at the base of the angel in memory of their child. We will be attending this year. I am also planning on eventually purchasing a brick for Janessa. I think it would be nice to include her in such a special spot. I hope to have Janessa's brick there in time for the candle light vigil.
I never knew this spot existed. The memorial spot is hidden away behind another building. I have visited this church many many times over the years and never noticed the pathway where it starts. The fact that it is almost hidden away feels just like this hidden world of baby loss. Not many know it exists & most think it no longer does or they choose not to acknowledge it. The problem with this is more families have to join our "secret society" due to that mindset.
At the memorial there is a sign that hangs on the fence that says “Compassionate Friends Network.” I have come across there info on the internet quite a bit over the past 10 months. I am happy to see they have a chapter so close to home.
Even though it is not “our” church, over the years I have always told people that I have always felt at peace there. Probably more at peace than anywhere else, ever. They have a beautiful candle shrine where I have lit numerous candles. They also have a great little gift shop. They have a very small child loss section but I was pleasantly surprised to even find that. I may at some point discuss with them possibly expanding it a bit by suggesting other materials. I may even drop some free handouts to place in the section for parents to take if they wish.
I wish I didn’t have to search out spots like this. I wish I wasn’t planning a memorial service for her. I wish she was cuddled up in my arms wearing one of the cute outfits I dreamt up in my head. I wish she was crawling or possibly walking around the house keeping my days full of new accomplishments & baby kisses.
I always thought of the one year mark as a huge mile marker on this journey. I am upset that it is approaching so quickly. I am frightened at how I will handle it. I am sad that it has to happen.
We are holding her service Saturday May 15th, the day after the anniversary of the day she was born. The 13th is when we found out she had died & she was born around 8 hours later on May 14th. My husband is taking the 14th off & I am debating having my son stay home. I am planning out how we are going to spend the day. I know I don’t want to spend it home alone upset. I have a few ideas floating around in my head.
It is quickly approaching…too quickly.
If you are reading this & have lost a child, what did you do in memory of your angel on the first year mark?