Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lifted Spirits

As I have blogged before I had become scrooge this holiday season. I am still in that mindset but I am definitely not so far down as I was. This is due to some very caring people who have done some things to life my spirits.

A couple weeks ago a very sweet lady, Kim, who I graduated high school with, asked if she could drop something off for me. I had been in contact with her a lot since losing Janessa. She is one of the many people who shoot me an email or IM to check in with me. She recently became a mom to a beautiful little baby girl so I know she can only imagine being in my shoes. She came by my house one evening & brought me this:

How amazing is that? She used some of the photos I had posted to create the design & those are her little footprints. The design is Janessa’s nursery theme. I was so overwhelmed. I must of choked back tears a handful of times. I kept telling her I would try & not cry. We chatted for a bit & she left.

Here is where she had it made: Captured In Clay by Stacy Funk 1.804.564.5637

I have been blown away by the generosity & warm gestures from people. What amazes me more is that many of them are coming from acquaintances, old friends & even strangers. Kim & I were always friendly but in school we were not close. It takes someone with a huge heart to be so empathetic. The gift she brought for me is one of my favorite items I now have to hold Janessa’s memory. She was also the one who had made a donation to the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation is memory of Janessa. I cannot thank her enough!

A family member, Lisa, awhile back had also brought me a silver necklace. It is a heart with a tear drop on one side & a poem on the other.

“If tears could build a stairway & memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven & bring you home again.”

I have always loved that. I tried to get a good pic of it but failed. I have it draped on the crystal cross in her curio case. Here is what I got:

Our sweet friend Felicia created a cyber event on face book for all our family & friends. She asked everyone to choose one ornament on their tree to dedicate in memory of Janessa. They are to take a pic & upload it to the event. At first I thought how wonderful it was that she was thinking of us & trying to do something to help us. I NEVER realized how much each dedicated ornament would lift my spirits. Each one makes me day a little better. She has about thirty something ornaments as of now. It is running through Christmas. Once the event is over I will be making a slideshow. I will post it here when complete.

My dear friend Julie went to see Janessa’s headstone & brought her a little Christmas tree. Isn't it cute?

My mom also brought Janessa a cute little Santa pick to decorate her grave for the holiday. I love it.

My grandmother called me to let me know she dropped off a snowman for her as well.

I cannot explain what it means to know people visit her & think of her. The little gifts left for her are so very nice.

I also went to decorate for Christmas. I decided on a wreath & chose the light green one. Green is her birthstone color. I love how it looks. I attached a Winnie the pooh holding a pink blankey. If she was going to be anything like me as a child (& JJ) she would’ve had a blankey.

I also brought her, her very own Christmas tree & stocking. I decorated the tree with Disney princesses. Every little girl loves to be a princess & I grew up in love with all the Disney movies. I looked forward to watching all the girly Disney movies with her. Jayden refuses to put on anything slightly girly, lol. I was ecstatic to be having a girl. I dreamed of the mommy daughter things we would do together. The princess movies were only one.

I think her plot looks very nice.

I hate that this is my life now. I hate that with every season & holiday I have to think of what to bring to the cemetery instead of what new items or wardrobe she would’ve needed. It kills me. I hate that I will carry this heavy sadness & emptiness with me for the rest of my life. Some days knowing that is just as overwhelming as the moment I wake up each morning & remember she is gone.

Thank you to all who have reached out to us. You have helped me make it through this month more than you could ever know.


Bree said...

Wow! You are surrounded by some wonderful people. Janessa's plot is beautiful (feels so wrong saying that). I love all the Christmas decorations.

Anonymous said...

I have to post the pictures of things people have sent me. They really do lift your spirits....if only for a little bit. Everything is beautiful. I'm glad you have some people in you life that are there for you, when you least expect it.


Franchesca Cox said...

What a sweet sweet friend that made you that beautiful dish for your Janessa. It is so so thoughtful how she put it all together.

And yes, I agree her plot looks lovely. I know she must be smiling down as she looks at the special things everyone has placed there for her.


Missing Kasey said...

It means a lot when people remember our angels! The dish is beautiful. I also love the ornament idea!


April said...

I love her little tree. And I am so jealous that you get snow!
I wanted to let you know that tomorrow I am changing the URL of my blog. I will be changing it to
I'm changing it because certain paople read my blog that I don't think should be reading it, because of the content. Just thought you might still want to follow!

TracyOC said...

What a wonderful surprise to brighten your holiday season somewhat. All of Janessa's gifts are beautiful. So sorry she isn't here with you.

Anonymous said...

You have some pretty amazing people in your life that love you and Janessa very much *huge hugs.* Here's hoping that will get you through the holiday season.

Anonymous said...

I do love Janessa's decorations. Everyone did such a nice job.

Akul's mama said...

You are surrounded by amazing people. I also know no matter how much support you get - the emptiness does not go away. Hugssss

Akul's mama said...

You are surrounded by amazing people. I also know no matter how much support you get - the emptiness does not go away. Hugssss

Jen said...

her plot is adorable..and it does sound like you are so lucky to have such a supportive family and friends.. hugs..

Once A Mother said...

her plot is adorable, brought tears to my eyes. you did such a beautiful job. what wonderful friends you have, to honor your little girl with these beautiful gifts. I love the plate especially, and think I will try to order one for Christmas. You know, I have been to your site so many times, and today was looking at your beautiful little girl's picture, and it dawned on me just how much she looks like you. She really is a little sleeping beauty in the picture. sending you lots of hugs as the holidays approach.

Malory said...

Thank you ladies for all your wonderful comments. I hope you are all doing ok with Christmas quickly approaching.

Holly said...

It does mean a lot to have people remember us and our babies. We don't want to be forgotten. Janessa's grave looks lovely decorated.

Leila's mommy said...

you are so lucky to have so much love and support from people in your life. i think Janessa's plot looks just lovely. :)

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