Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thank You

I have tried to write this entry many times. My posts seem to always get side tracked. This is long overdue. I would like to take the time to say thank you to the many people who have played a role in the journey we have been on since losing Janessa. I am going to try & not leave anyone out. If I do please forgive me…my brain is still a bit overloaded. This may be a long post…sorry.

My husband- I love you. I would not be able to get up every morning & push on without you. You have been my rock & my soft place to fall all at the same time. It takes a special man to be able to do that. Because of you I know we will get through this..never over it but through. I am so grateful that our marriage & relationship became stronger through this. Thank you.

JJ - My sweet little boy. Although you will not be reading this now, you may in the future. I want you to know that you have saved me through this time. You have kept me going, living, breathing. You have allowed me to get up every morning & still have purpose. You have kept me loving & enjoying life. You have brought me laughter at the darkest moments of my life. For that I will be forever grateful. Mommy loves you!

Mom- For always being a phone call away. For your never ending support of us. For all the things you do we thank & love you.

Father Leo & Notre Dame staff- Father Leo was the first person besides the hospital staff & Jonathan & I who saw Janessa. He came very quickly to the hospital when the nurse called him that morning. He blessed Janessa & said a prayer. He has continued to call us & check in with us & has kept us close in his prayers. For the first time in my life I have felt prayer. There is no other way we made it through this.

Eli - For flying in the morning Janessa arrived. Your brother needed you in that moment more than he has ever. I know having you there was a huge comfort to him. It meant a lot to me as well. I am sure he will never forget that. You are a great brother.

Hospital visitors - Thank you for coming to meet our baby girl. That meant more than I can write in words. We are so grateful that you came & some of you were able to hold her. We only wish she was to stay with us.

My Mom’s co-workers - Debbie (Zena), Damarys, Ernie, Linda, Sally, David, Alice, AnnMarie, Lisa, Jane, Leona, Sandy. The card & donations were very much appreciated.

Sandra & Victor - The card & collected donations was so thoughtful & appreciated. (Victor)- For the beautiful picture of Janessa’s footprints & for helping with the ELHAS header. Her footprints are one of my most treasured possessions. To everyone who donated please know we thank you & love you all.

Belanger-Bullard Funeral Home - Bill Belanger is probably one of the most generous persons I have met. He came to the hospital to meet with us the day after Janessa was delivered. He handled everything for us. He generously donated his time, services, facility & Janessa’s casket at no charge for us. He is the only funeral home in town that offer free services to parents who have lost a child. For that we will be forever thankful. I have since written him a letter to try & express how grateful we are. He is a blessing. He alleviated a major amount of stress for us during the worst moments of our life.

Funeral attendees - We did not open up Janessa’s funeral to the public. We were unsure we could handle that. We had maybe 40 or so people come to the service at the funeral home. I am so happy they were able to attend. I barely made it through the service. Seeing Jayden the way he was broke the last piece of my heart. I have said before that the weight of the situation was literally suffocating me. There were moments I thought I would lose it. I am sorry we did not have a mass & open up her service. But at the same time I know we probably couldn’t of handled it. We will be doing a memorial service in May for her one year “angelversary” that we plan on having anyone who would like to attend more than welcome to come.

Lisa Maysonet - When I think back to those first few days & weeks you are one of the few who were there. Thank you for stopping in to check on us. We shared some tears & I appreciated your words & your willingness to talk about Janessa. Thank you for the angel & the food you brought. Once the food ran out from the funeral we were too distraught to even go to the store. There was nothing here & your gesture was more than needed! Thank you for your continued messages.

Amy - I want you to know that you are an AMAZING friend. I am so happy that you are in my life. For all the calls & texts to check in on me. You continued from day one not to give up on me. Even after weeks of no response from me you continued. THANK YOU. You probably still do not know what that meant to me. To know that you were thinking of us & our little girl lifted my spirits each time. I was too far down in my grief to respond but you were patient & understanding. I know you try & think what it would be like to be in our shoes & for that I thank you with all my heart. The poem you gave me is the best gift I WILL EVER receive. You are one of the most caring & empathetic people I know. I love you.

Julie- I appreciate knowing you are a phone call away. I am so saddened that we can not share in our in our excitement of us both having newborns. It was not suppose to be this way. We should have babies born within days of each other. I looked forward to spending the summer together with our babies & having play dates & joking about how they would grow up & get married. I am sorry that I find it hard to see Dylan. I know that will change, I do. I will someday be able to look at him & think of Janessa & be at peace. He will help keep her memory alive. At every milestone I will see Janessa. I wish I could take part in his first milestones…I am getting there. Thank you for sharing tears with me. You are a great friend.

Angie - The only other friend I have shed tears with. Thank you for being able to talk about Janessa. Thank you for always thinking of us & her. I know I am impossible to get a hold of so thank you for trying. I miss you guys so much!

Deb - For helping me start Janessa’s garden. I will never forget that. I am looking forward to the spring to get back in there.

Meli - For the many wonderful emails & such kind words. You have brought me moments of comfort.

Stacy - For your many many wonderful words of comfort, thank you.

Blogger Ladies - All my followers on blogger. You all have been a saving grace to me. I know you are there any time of the day. I have met some amazing women. I am sad that it had to be under these circumstances. You all are a blessing to me.

ELHAS supporters - Thank you to everyone who has checked out Every Life Has A Story website & became a fan on Facebook. Thank you to those who have sent there supportive messages and guest book entries. I appreciate that & it keeps me going on days I don’t have anything left. And a special thank you to Dyanna who is by far my biggest supporter of this project. Thank you for all you have done & said to help me. I appreciate it so very very much!

Janessa’s candles - Thank you to each & every one of you who took the time to light a candle in Janessa’s memory. I know its hard for you to imagine how something like that can mean so much to us. I try & save each one I see. If I have missed yours I am sorry. Please light another candle & send a message my way letting me know. I would love to save yours as well for her memory book I plan on starting.

And lastly the person who deserves the most gratitude,

Janessa - My sweet little girl. What you have taught me in the very short amount of time we had you, is what most people cannot learn in a lifetime. I have learned how very precious life is & how in the matter of minutes your life can change forever. You have made me cherish having your brother even more than before. You have made me try & live in the moment more than I used to. You have made me a better mom. You have also brought me & Daddy even closer together than before. I have become a better wife. I am a completely new person. You have changed me forever. You have made me a better person. You have left an imprint on me that I will carry my entire life. There wil not be a day that you will not have had an impact on. I thank you. I love you. I miss you, forever.

I am truly sorry if I missed anyone. I will come back & edit as people pop into my mind.

1 comment:

Holly said...

This is a wonderful list of thank yous.

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