Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Shopping Trip

I have mentioned in previous posts how shopping has become very painful. It still is. I may hide it well but I HATE SHOPPING. I hate seeing all the little girly items I was once so excited for. I have a hard time seeing little girls shopping with their Moms. I have never been a "BIG" shopper anyways but now I go in and come out as fast as I can. I avoid it at all costs.

I am sure in time the dreaded feeling will subside or atleast I hope it does...

I found this poem that said it all quite well.

The Shopping Trip
Linda Vicory

As I persue the aisles,
of the local store,
I see things more differently,
than I ever have before.

"Daddy's Little Angel",
the embroidered bibs do read.
But, Daddy's angel is in Heaven,
and bibs she does not need.

She does not need a bottle,
a dress or a toy.
Of buying those things for her,
we shall never know the joy.

There are tiny jars of baby food,
that she will never eat
And shiny shoes with buckles,
that will never touch her feet.

As the bikes and trikes taunt me,
from high up on the rack,
Tears will break free from my eyes,
if I dare look back.

I run off to the restroom,
to blow my nose and cry.
I wipe my eyes, swallow hard,
and let out a sigh.

I must go face the paper,
college and wide rule,
That my little angel,
will never use in school.

I hurry past the greeting cards,
that the people chose with care,
And I am reminded,
of the holidays we shall not share.

In the checkout line I bow my head,
and heavy is my heart,
For the family right in front of me
has a newborn in their cart.

Shopping in the local store,
used to be mundane.
Now every aisle's full of items,
which remind me of my pain.

So, quick as I can I give the cashier,
the money from my purse,
And hurry away from those who don't know my pain,
in this foreignly happy universe.


Anonymous said...

what a beautiful poem, this is all so true. :) *hugs*

Jess said...

So, so true. I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but truth be told it does. I'm sure it always will.

Malory said...

Jessica"s" :)

I am hoping this dreaded feeling is someday replaced with hope and excitement again.

Akul's mama said...

I am so sorry you lost your baby. I remember reading this poem and then showing it to my husband after our son Akul passed away. It was so hard for us to go shopping because either something in the store reminded us we did not have our baby or else pregnant women and new born babies. We suddenly felt that every woman was either pregnant or had a new born. This universe is indeed foreign to us now. Hugsssss.

Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray to God each day to give me the answers as to Why? so I can help all the grieving women in our world.
For now all I can do is pray for your comfort and strength as you walk on this journey of heartache that you have been given. Thank you for placing my button on your blog. I would love to send you a handkerchief to catch all your tears. Please email me your full name & address and I will get that in the mail to you.
Take care and God Bless

Malory said...

Thank you that is very nice of you. I will be sending my info along soon as well as another angel Mom I would like one sent to.

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